Sunday, December 18, 2011


I used to think this is what my life would look like when I was in my 20s-30s. I thought I would just be a beach bum. Actually, when I was little, I'm certain that I thought that was a real option for an occupation. Throughout college especially, I saw myself with dreadlocks, tattoos, driving an old aqua VW. I'm being completely serious. 

The summer after my freshman year in college, I just needed to get away. I wanted to get as far away from "normalcy" as I could. 
So, I went to Hawaii.
That's right, I spent a summer on the North Shore of Oahu. I didn't do much there. I learned to surf. I read a lot. I met some friends. I spent a lot of time at the beach. I went to a church that backed up to the ocean. I helped with VBS on the island. It was perfect. I don't think I could've had a better experience.

When I came home, I realized that all that is great, but It's better when you're not alone. I've never had a problem being alone. I actually sometimes prefer it. I'm independent, and I love peace and quiet. I've never really been into the party scene.

 If I was going to be honest with myself, I never really thought I would ever get married. You see, I have what I like to call "commitment issues." I just never saw myself married. I thought maybe I would become a missionary, live in another country, adopt a foreign baby. This was my crazy dream.

About a year later, I met Jacob

Then I went on a mission trip to Germany. While I was there I realized that although my heart is definitely for reaching the lost and meeting physical needs in other countries, it doesn't mean I have to do it by myself. I have never missed anyone so badly in all my life than the way I felt in Europe. It occurred to me then that I want to do all these things, but I wanted to do them with Jake. 

In an instant my phobia of commitment was cured! And now, we are finally at a place in our lives where we can start doing more mission work. And this girl is pumped. I've been in school so long it hasn't been possible. But you better believe those 3 weeks of vacation are about to start being used - as soon as they kick in! 

I still see myself as an old gray haired (dreadlocked) lady, with multiple tattoos and piercings, sitting on the beach somewhere. But my vision now has my husband in it. And maybe a few kiddos. Of course at least one of them will look nothing like me or him. They will be from another country - maybe the one we're living in. We'll see. 

I love that dreams change. I love that I realized that where I am is not nearly as important as who I'm with.



  1. New follower from Casey's page! Love the wedding photo.. and definitely jealous that you've spent a summer in Hawaii. I've always wanted to go there.

  2. I really connected to the idea of how dreams change. For years, I wanted to be the next Anna Wintour. Instead, I am married to an amazing man and teaching Alternative HS part-time. It really is all about who you spend your life with!

    PS:I love your pictures! Your wedding photo is gorgeous!